Ramblings From Another Week Gone By
Buggered up Interior decoration and mass arguments oh happy days

Watched a mad yet enjoyable film combining the unlikely unison of aliens and torture with Mikey.

Myself and my housemate watched what we thought was a pirate of the new Terminator movie
online only for him to say half way through I don't remember any of this stuff from the trailer. I don't know what the hell we watched, maybe a spin off to The Sarah Connor Chronicles but we had to see the end having got so far through, it was so low budget it was amusing at times.

Weekend was really good. Got to spend some time with my bloody great family.
Saturday with mum sis and dad at rock in park, which is an annual event of local and not so local musical talent.
Jin was doing a Poi workshop with many kids and I did my best to help. My poi skills were never great, I can do a couple of tricks but even I got those wrong and the kids all laughed at me when I smacked myself in the head with them. Least I provided some afternoon entertainment : ) So I stuck to helping them make the things instead. I noticed that Plastic Toys had been on the bill earlier in the day, which surprised me, I'd have liked to see them again.

Grandma's 80th meal was lovely that night, and she seemed to enjoy herself, having a few too many sherrys.
Over dinner, my cous told me all about her latest fuck up which was to call in sick at work and forget to hang up the phone, to proceed to slag off her boss, calling him every name under the sun whilst he listened on the other end of the line. Priceless.

Everyone else didn't really feel like Stone Henge which was fine as my other cousin called to tell me that the traffic jams were a nightmare as he had moved about a mile in three hours. So me dad and Jojo walked into Wantage instead. We reminisced about so many things when we were kids and had a laugh. I did see my Wantage mates but felt quite out the loop, its going to be hard work going back home for a longer stint next week. Feel some sofa surfing in Southampton every now and then might be needed to keep me sane. So I spent more of my time in the pub with Jin, Neil, Mikey and Jojo. With father dearest buying me too much tequila. Stayed for a lovely lock in with the staff as I know them all quite well due to my sister working there last year.

I forgot fathers day but in the end me and Jojo treated our Dad to a meal. Its a shame none of us can drive though so we couldn't take him anywhere further afield.

Solstice Memory
This weekend will be the 6th anniversary of one of the most terrifying nights of my life which has been on my mind again recently. I have never written this down before, but have made some disturbing art about it. I have always been drunk when i have talked about it so never get the timeline quite right.

Every-time I recall this it comes back in bits, being there was like being in a film, scenes cut up and mishmashed together, so surreal. It was 2003, we'd just been to a wedding reception so everyone had had a few. My parents decided, with their hippy ways it might be nice to go for a late night walk and have a fire at Waylands Smithy, an ancient burial ground near where we live with many legends and myths surrounding it. This is quite common on Solstice back near Wantage. I say burial ground but its not a haunting place, Its peaceful, pretty and I used to play there a lot as a kid, hide and seek, tree climbing etc etc.

Myself and my sister, my mum, dad and several of their friends got in to the camper van and drove off. I do not know why but I didn't want to go, I protested but was eventually convinced, better that than be home alone bored. We parked up and everyone poured out except me and my sister freezing our tits off and searching for our hoodies. It was about midnight. I heard fighting and assumed some drunken idiots were about. My mothers friend Dee leapt back in to the van scared and others followed. She said there were a lot of men around the stones chanting and people fighting, I could just about make out the silhouettes in the distance. Then through the windscreen I saw in what must have been about 30- 40 skin heads running down the track towards us, carrying large maglights on their shoulders. Someone was hit but I wasn't sure who it was. My Dad leapt back into the passenger seat and tried to remove the steering lock, but he was too slow. They smashed in the windscreen, the side windows also came in showering us in the back with glass. Words fail me with how to describe the rage in their faces. Dad got the vehicle going, we were parked in a big ditch so it was a testament to his driving and just reversed out of there fast. Taking one of the bastards out with the wing mirror in the process.

We got out, Kelsey fell to the ground taken down at the knees by the force of all people behind,
my dad picked her up and carried on running, Tiff was viciously hit over the head with a maglight, stumbled, but still made it to his feet. We all just ran to the nearest sane person we could find up there, all women and children were bundled into one car and the van abandoned. I am no athlete and have the lung capacity of a flea but I ran bloody fast even in my swear platform boots. I was terrified, wanting to get out but I also worried about my dad. All the men had been left behind. We phoned the police from the car and gave the exact road, exact location but being out of town weekend staff from Abingdon they didn't really know where it was. We stopped at some traffic lights and a little mini pulled up beside us, it was jam packed with men, my dad and all his friends pushed up against the glass, eight men in one mini, but they were safe.

We met the man that rescued him, Richard and his friend. Who's name I forget. Had just been up there doing the same of us, he was camped with a friend having a splif or two. We later spoke to the police and they asked if any of the friends who had been hurt had been asian. He wasn't. But it turned out that an asian guy had been hurt there. The theory was to be some kind of sacrifice to the ritual. Tiff was given a makeshift plaster and taken to casualty while the rest of us sat there, in disbelief. Midnight had been the peak of their ritual and we had interrupted them, talk about wrong place at the wrong time. My mother believes them to have been Pagan Odinists worshipping the norse god of war, I do not want to know.

But I think Stone Henge is a welcome alternative!
Stonge Henge with the druids again sounds much more appealing! Hope its not overcast this year.

Degree Show Opening Night
It was my show last night and it was horrible. SometImes wish I wasn't such a perfectionist. I told my parents not to come down because it was a long journey. It wasn't worth it , I was ashamed of what I had to show. My boards were okay, but my book an absolute pile of crap. I made the thing twice, because I wasn't happy with it and still couldn't get it to the standard I wanted, I am my own worse critic. When I saw my work next to everyone else's again I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole right there. I was slightly reassured when one of the visiting designers said he was impressed that I had had the guts to tackle such a difficult subject matter, but not for long.

So I drank a lot of the free wine before Kerry suggested we leave before I embarrass myself. We got
a takeaway and over a pile of sweet and sour, I poured my heart out about many things, but no answers could be found. Kerry had to be up at 7 so she trekked home and I went to meet the rest
of my course mates and continued to drink, not the most productive plan.

For anyone who hasn't come across this before..
I heard Lazy Boy again today so for anyone who hasn't come across this before.. so true

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

Fun week
Tuesday = Star Trek

I strangely enjoyed this, with was unexpected. Me, Sam and Lou all agreed on it, which is rare for us three.
The appearance of Simon Pegg caught me off guard, no one who had seen it already had mentioned this to me.
Awesome special effects as well.

Wednesday = Rhino

Had a good night, it was quite quiet during exam time but at least this meant my requests got played! It was a little early on and I was still suffering from the pre drink self consciousness issues, but some of us danced to them non the less, because well it would be rude not to. I got some comments about my dancing, its not my forte, in fact I look like I've been electrocuted; but it didn't need to be said so harshly. Everyone was enjoying themselves so what did it matter? Still a few vodkas in, I left the gits to it and danced about falling over several times but picking myself up for more.

Thursday = Control

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings exposed?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
I just cant function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again

Watched this brilliant movie about Ian Curtis with Mikey, my housemates shunned the idea instantly. The majority at a loss to who he was and the last one, he stated it would just be too depressing; before returning to a mass game of pokemon cards and games consoles in the living room. Something about rekindling youth, I didn't try to understand. Granted, It was a harrowing film, but excellent. At just 23 years old Curtis killed himself, too bloody young. The film doesn't show the gory details but the scream from his wife got right under my skin. I read an interview today with Natalie Curtis, his daughter, who was a year old when Curtis died. She of course doesn't remember him, and now has seen the events leading to his suicide on screen and it has really messed with her head. The film is shrouded by more sadness when she explains that Tony Wilson ( the Factory Records boss who used his life savings to fund Joy Division's debut) died just four days after the release, and never got to see the film about the band he believed should be the household name which they have finally become.I got home and had to play Atmosphere at full volume. Apologies to the neighbours, but it was an education for them, I was drowning out that old x factor winner with a face like a camel... leona something is that it?

Weekend = Brighton
I hadn't packed all my stuff in time for this and when I got home on thursday night before I found half my clothes wern't washed. Any normal person would have lived with it but not me, so I found myself sat up half the night with a hairdryer drying off my clothes so I was a bit tired the next morning. Grabbed a book at the station called Zuzu's petals about a mad artist who gave up a horrible job in order to make cards and stained glass and the mad adventures and people she encountered, a woman after my own heart. I barely recognised Charlotte when I got there, she had come to meet me at the station but had lost loads of weight and was wearing a huge pair of film star shades, she looked gorgeous and had a big grin on her face. Her new man came round for dinner later. He seemed nice enough, very gentlemanly, but I couldn't seem to get passed the small chit chat with him, how long did your journey take? what do you do etc? Still she spoke really highly of her new toy boy and I was pleased to see her so happy, its been a long time coming. We had a chilled evening gossiping and swapping girly info, I miss this, sometimes only a a girly chat will do. She thinks I'm very dedicated and also possibly a bit mad for lasting this long with Darrin, I think she is right. She cooked us both a big fat toad in the hole for dinner which was made even yummier because I didn't have to cook it myself.

Next day we went shopping in Brighton, got a cute Robot clock for Mikey's (mum's bf) birthday as he got me an excellent present, a set of top notch paint brushes which sounds boring but is thoughtful to me as its something I use, or used to use a lot of the time. Went for dinner in this pretty large italian called Donnatello with myself, Charlotte and three mates off her course. Two lovely yet mad Irish ladies called Jacky and Mary and Flick. I got on best with Jacky, we had similar tastes, not least perving on men with nice tattoos and the restaurant oddly had many. Then we hit the old seafront bars and clubs, finding ourself in one gay bar and a couple of stylish little places, sipping pear cider with a sea view, lovely. I also like going to gay bars because the hassle is all removed, there's rarely a fight and everyone is very chillaxed. I enjoyed people watching because the characters wondering past the beer garden were so diverse, thats Brighton for you, yuppies, students, hippies and complete mentalists all in one convenient seaside location. Then traveling back on sunday was horrible, I felt a bit as if Charlotte had thrown me out, as I was up before 10 am on a sunday. But in the end I was glad she did. Due to replacement busses, new train routes and incompetent train staff, it took me four hours to get back to Southampton, so I finished my new book. There were scenes in it about the lead characters elderly father being ill, and due to his age and condition it reminded a little of my Grandad and I tried to avoid welling up on the train, getting some looks in the process. It upsets me that he will not get to see me graduate.

Got into Southampton station and a chav woman wondered up to me, excuse me how do we get to the beach? She had three kids and boyfriend in tow. For a minute I thought they were taking the piss but it soon became obvious they weren't so I told them to get on the next train to Bournemouth : )

I got back in just enough time to make it up to a happy little gathering with my housemates. We went to the common for a summer picnic. I need to reassess the common for better tree climbing options next time.

(no subject)
"And years may go by, but I think the heart remains a child
The mind may grow wise
But the heart just sulks and it whines and remains a child"

(no subject)
Another entry, for lack of productive things to do.

Thursday = Paraletic face

Friday= in self inflicted pain and chilling

Saturday = drunk

Sunday = drunk. I had a lovely evening at Sarah's, her myself and Dan had a very long stint of the drunken voting game.

Monday - chilling

Still I've had a great weekend and enjoyed spending time with everyone. Got some new tunes and done some doodling in between the messiness. These charactatures are driving me quite insane but I do want to do them so I persevere; it will improve my people drawing skills. Last night I was reminded that I miss life drawing even though I suck at it.. though I don't think I'd find a willing model all too easily at the moment! Its weird how when you start drawing you just have to view the body like a still life really, and bypass the embarrassment.

1) you really ready for 111 questions?
i can try but i may fall asleep halfway through!

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
There are no such things as mistakes only lessons and i've had quite a few! Lets just say I've been screwed over.

4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
my mom

5) Do you regret it?
nope :)

6) Have you ever been depressed?
not officially!

7) Are you a boy or girl?
Im a woman :P

9) What is your relationship status?

10) How do you want to die?
in my sleep please!

11) What did you last eat?
A sausage roll I need to go shopping

12) Played any sports?

13) Do you bite your nails?
very often

14) When was your last physical fight?
whenever i last beat up my bf. ;)

15) Do you have an attitude?
Attitude, what bloody attitude?

16) Do you like someone?
i like lots of people they are called my friends

17) What is your real name?
Sadly Kirsty, not very exciting eh

19) Are you gonna get high later?
no, i'll be getting my beauty sleep!

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
I dislike a lot of people but hate no

21) Do you miss someone?

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

23) Do you tan a lot?
i'm trying damnit!

24) Have any pets?
A dog called dusty back home. After the fact when we first got her we lived in Springfield Road...

25) How exactly are you feeling?
Hungry, bored and lazy.. not a winning combo there

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
who hasnt?

27) What do you believe in?
I believe in Karma. Which means I'm probably a little bit doomed.

28) How many ex's do you have?

29) Are you scared of spiders?
Nope. I removed them when the blokes were scared last time, so hardcore.

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Maybe just to re-experience some good memories :)

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
i dont think people should have regrets.. every mistake teaches you something useful.

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
None as yet, go with the flow..

33) Do you want to have kids?
Nope. I am going to be mad Aunty Kirsty with all her cats to my sisters many children. Im going to teach them naughty tricks to annoy mummy :)

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?

35) Do you type fast?
Reasonably so yeh

36) Do you have piercings?
nose, tongue, ears, belly button

37) Want any more?

38) Can you spell well?
When I was at school they thought I might be dyslexic, apparently just lazy at spelling!

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Yes, a few people I've lost touch with I would be so happy to see again. I should bite the bullet and tell them this but I am a little bit scared.

40) What are you craving right now?
any food!!

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
of course!

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Horses are a bit scary.

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
I've never even been in a pick up truck

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i don't think so, or at least i hope not

46) Have you ever been cheated on?

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Yes : s

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yep. Its nice after all, but when it comes down to it, it is just a piece of paper.

50) What should you be doing?
Job hunting, tidying, cleaning, all that adult rubbish..

51) What’s irritating you right now?
The burning question of what to do with my life

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
It's was more of an ache really

53) Does somebody love you?
my mum and dad

54) Whats your favorite colour?

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes.. tricky

57) Do you have trust issues?
In honesty, yes, but normally for a good reason

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Very good.

62) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
That I'm a bit of bitch really. Hopefully we can be civil when I see him out next in Wantage, its been a long time.

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
Yes I think I do I know i'm naive but I don't seem to be able to stop.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
Yes and no. I've learned a lot.

67) What was your childhood nickname?
Many: midget, midget goth, kay, moose, gertrude etc etc

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
Aha maybe :)

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Drank my body weight in water, good move

73) What is bothering you?

75) Do you play the Wii?
Nah, I'm about the Playstation.. and not very often.

76) Are you listening to music right now?
Jose Gonzalez.. amazing

77) Do you like Chinese food?
Its okay

78) Do you know your fathers b- day?
yep :)

79) Are you afraid of the dark?

80) Is cheating ever okay?

81) Are you mean?
Sometimes yes :s

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
no. i can keep nothing clean!

84) Do you believe in true love?
yes, or at least id like to.

88) Do you like the outside?
I love it

89) Are you currently bored?

90) Do you wanna get married?
Im not sure

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only the right one

92) Are you hungry?

93) Have you ever been caught out?
Who hasn't

94) What makes you happy?
The simple things in life

95) Would you change your name?
I would but it would be strange, I could have been given something worse.

96) Ever been to Alaska?

98) Do you watch the news?

99) What’s your zodiac sign?
Aquarius the oddball, strangely describes me rather well at times.

100) Do you like Subway?
nom nom nom :)

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Not at all.

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
There wouldn't be much I could do.. just have to the best to carry on as normal for fear of loosing a friend.

103) Do you talk like your friends?
I pick up mannerisms from people I spent a lot of time with.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Everyone has done this at some point for a variety of reasons.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
a few in fact

107) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
I'd prefer it if they didn't

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
depends on what you mean by 'deep'!

110) Favourite lyrics right now?
Tough touch question. Probably the simplicity in Ian Brown: forget everything and remember, for everything a reason

111) Can you count to one million?
obviously I can, but i wont. ever!

The end of an era
Well this is it, It's the end of an era. I havn't been this scared and excited all at once, well since I started uni! After that first year in Bournemouth being one of the worst of my life I was ready to throw in the towel big time but I'm glad I changed and made the best of things. I am now going to have no nails left by results day in August.

The night out on thursday was one of the best I've had in a while, Oceana would not be my normal choice but I really enjoyed myself. Sometimes its good to leave the old rock alone for a night, it was old school dance stuff with a bit of indie thrown in. Everyone seemed to really let themselves go, that cliche group thing very far removed. There are a few I got to have a decent chat with, I wish I had done this two years ago. Still, the turn out was a bit rubbish, the whole course was invited, but only ten of us made it, I now know who I'm likely to be able to stay in touch with..

The next day I felt awful, a drumming session going on in my head. I meant to go out to Sam's bday meal and drinks, after missing the meal I got changed, sat down on the sofa at around 11 and woke up having been there for twelve hours, I obviously needed the rest!

Music Quiz
Shuffly wotsit.

What does next year have in store for me?
Execution of Your Mind - Reaper

What's my love life like?
High and Dry -Radiohead

What do I say when life gets hard?
I've been waiting for tomorrow all of my life - The The

What do you think of on waking up?
Bullitts Dominae - Pure Reason Revolution

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Chime - Orbital (not the traditional choice for the first dance : )

What do you want as a career?
Cemetery Gates - The Smiths (I don't want to be an undertaker!)

Your favourite saying?
Jumping Someone Elses Train - The Cure

Favourite place?
Nature's Law - Embrace

What do you think of your parents?
Strange - Bauhaus (ha too true)

What's your Pornstar name?
Funky Shit - Prodigy

Where would you go on a first date?
Hit The Floor - Linkin Park (oh dear sounds like moi clumsy self)

Drug of choice?
Stomp - Wumpscut

Describe yourself:
Space Dementia - Muse

What is the thing i like doing most?
Loosing My Religion - R.E.M (lol)

The song that best describes my school principal?
Head Over Feet - Alanis Morrisette (god no)

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Living Dead Girl - Rob Zombie (haha pretty much on the mark)

How will I die?
Last Hallucination - Schwarz Stein

(no subject)
This weekend I have mostly learned that I am way to trusting and have got to stop being so naive. I don't care if people find it endearing, I just keep setting myself up for torment. I have also discovered watching horror movies before bedtime is a bad idea' its amazingly disturbing what imagery the brain can conjure when left to its own devices. Still I got the bad guy with a chain-saw because I am awesome.
And job hunting is soul destroying, and the interviews havn't started yet, thats if I get any. *Sigh


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