Jojo's Leaving Party
zencentricity
So on Saturday Windmill Place became host to a mini festival of sorts to say goodbye to my little sister. Great fun it was. We had decks set up in the shed, lol and mothers UV backdrops all over the garden. Mother dearest has also made a makeshift hippy garden fence from an old fireplace surround and some off cuts of weeping willow. To accent and decorate she has a fluro spinning wheel. We also have a log that looks like a crocodile so she has spray painted eyes on it and of course the ever popular shoe graveyard. This is where the much loved dead old swear, mad fish and Sella boots of yesteryear come to find a new lease of life as flowerpots. :) I love our garden. There were flashing lights everywhere and people dancing madly, likened to the guy from Spaced who dances to the sound of the telephone and street noises... I forget his name but he reminds me of so many family friends.

Chappers and Lisa arrived and it was wicked to see them, Lisa has this great sense of humour, very satirical like myself. Chappers however started being a bit bitchy, critiquing the vast array of hippy outfits, I asked who made him the one man fashion police before he wondered off sheepishly :)

Grandma had too much vodka jelly and had to be walked home, she was bloody great fun. My grandad was in a foul mood the next day because he had a pounding hangover and she was up gardening at 8am and feeling fantastic, haha.

Steve felt 16 again when he was skinning up in the kitchen for my grandad to walk in, who of course didn't care. He asked smiling, "Kirsty, Is everybody here stoned or are they are something else as well?" Lol... errrr.. Dad gave him a tequila and I didn't have to answer.

A friend of mine and Jojo's had a hideous whitey moment and spent most of the night asleep in the alleyway between my house and next door, doh. Darrin also took a nap there and I was quite worried but no harm done.
Ended the night with a nice big bonfire and Jojo doing one last fire poi performance, wiping the floor with all her contenders for the attention.

Had to remove three squatters who had found their way to my bed and passed out, when I decided I was too dead to carry on but never-mind. I'd be happy to share but I only have a dinky single at home.

Sadly our middle class, somewhat stuck up neighbors who seem to have some sort of moral objection to other people having fun in close proximity decided to tamper with some people's cars. Therefore someone's wheel came off and someone else had badly damaged tyres : ( Which somewhat ruined it for some people.

Went along to Heathrow and said goodbye to Jojo on Monday night. She got there safe as she texted through today. I kept thinking about her during that 21 hour trip hoping she was okay. She had a thirteen hour flight to Kula Lumpur with a five hour stop and another eight hours flying to Australia. Bye bye little sister, (who is bigger than me in height!) I will miss her a lot, I am very protective of her.

Mikey brought me a new music book and a stand today and with Jojo's room empty it is now drum space for a year with two kits set up so I can play as he shows me which is going to be much easier than learning stuff on my own out of a book.

(no subject)
zencentricity
Been thinking how to escape?
This strait-jacket of constraint
Been thinking what can be wrong?
With feelings that long to belong

Stargazing me
In an upside down sea

So weary this strait-jacket dreamer
So resigned to continue to suffer
But you've learnt that as you grow weaker
There's less hurt because there's much less to hurt

Siouxsie and The Banshees

Bloody hell I am off to Australia sometime next year
zencentricity
I have just got the best surprise today. My dad who has paid into my account throughout university money to help me has decided to save this dosh that he says he is so used to paying for the next six months and then use the money to take me to Australia next year to see my sister. I was shocked into silence that I didn't probably thank him as much as I should : s But I will. Excited! I am going to do my damn best to make a contribution when I get a job because that is only fair. I have been to Canada, about seven years ago to stay with my uncle, had to save a fair bit. Besides that me or my family have never had the money for extravagant holidays.

Not much else to report really. Watched time trumpet on dvd, not seen it before, pretty damn funny, I recommend it. Still unemployed. Darrin has come back to Wantage, is coming to say goodbye to my sister at her leaving do as he has also known her a pretty long while now as well. We're getting on better this week, had a picnic that didn't result in us screaming at each other and ruining the tranquil park setting so thats a bonus.

I am looking forward to another Industrial Fallout in two weeks, will try to be more composed and presentable this time. Then not longer after its Dan's birthday camping.

Results Day
zencentricity
I got a 2:2 with honors. Which I could live easier if I wasn't a mere four marks off a 2:1. But breathes, it could have been worse. : )

(no subject)
zencentricity
Did okay on climbing, scrambled up a 7a despite a big gap since I last went. Was pleased with myself. For those not familiar with the number its the climbing grading system for difficulty it starts at number 1, though climbs in the centre at Swindon don't really go below a 4 to my knowledge. The hardest there is an 8 something.
My sister is a hardened climber, part of the climbing group at her university and got whisked off to Spain to do outdoor climbing this summer, jealous. I've done it outdoors before, In freezing Wales but still loved it.

I missed the second family trip to the centre today cause I was completely shattered for no apparent reason. I think its time I saw a doctor, Im getting extremely irritated by my lack of energy, I have an afternoon nap like an old person everyday, I'm only 22!

My results are online tomorrow, I feel sick at the thought, I just want to get passed a third. Because whilst that's still a degree, I feel its a little bit mediocre for twenty grand worth of debt. Well time will tell.

(no subject)
zencentricity
Why the hell do I waste so much time on people here who clearly don't give a flying fuck? I need to get out of this town before I go mental. I've been belittled, shunned and what for? for having had a little ambition, maybe I was always destined to leave them behind. Oh well there are two friends I have kept and I believe they will be there till I die, thats worth a lot more to me than several fair weather twats. Currently I feel like i've had a three day hangover despite to no alcohol passing my lips for a week. Its probably a migraine induced by said people. Also finding home really hard, no space, no privacy, with everyone barging into my room whenever they feel like it, and the nagging, my god the nagging.

Anyway on a more positive note I have decided what I want to do with my life. For the next year its working full time at wherever I can blag in the current climate in order to save up some moolah, preferably back in Southampton and not here. I still love it there and it feels a lot more like home than Oxfordshire now.
Then in September 2010 I would like to do a PGCE in order to become a secondary school art and design teacher. This could be done in London, Oxford or Reading. I've spent a lot of time mulling over being an art therapist also, but there just isn't enough work in it. I am not good with small kids but age eleven upwards isn't too bad, once they can tell me what's wrong and what they need then its all good. Sadly this means I am going to have to do evening classes to get my C in maths, I was two marks off back in 2003 and it still gives me a little bit of rage. That is my preliminary plan anyway, have to wait and see what life does or doesn't do to get in the way of it all.

Watched the sex and city movie last night (I know, I know but), it felt about as much as my intellectual level could manage as I was feeling so rough. Surprisingly, the plot wasn't very complicated but there were some rather attractive male cast members. Tomorrow I am going rock climbing again for first time in ages, so its low on the booze intake for saturday night or I might just fall off and hang there on my rope whilst poor Jojo has to belay me down very slowly. Bless her, we call her 'two-bags' cause without being seriously weighted down she flies pretty high.

Industrial Fallout
zencentricity
Went back to Southampton saturday for Industrial Fallout. Went to have lunch with Darrin to check he was okay after the last week and catch up but it was very tense and just ended in an argument so left earlier than planned.
In the modern age it seems we're now relying on Facebook to define the relationship status, we are now 'complicated'. Least it cuts out a lot of the awkward where is Darrin? And what's going on with you two? questions which I do not have the energy for.

So by the time Industrial Fallout came about in the evening, having not having dinner and sinking the booze I silently dealt with said man issues by being rather battered. Apologies to all concerned for anything said or done under the influence. I had a good time though from the bits I can remember and really enjoyed everyone's company.

In the meantime still plugging away at the job sites, recruitment agencies and anyone who will listen to get me back into civilization in the near future. : )

(no subject)
zencentricity
Oh dear, how many entries in one week? Back home in Challow now, a little disillusioned and bored. But things will pick up, they always do eventually.

Had a lovely last weekend but down with a thud on monday. What an end to my time in Sandhurst Road. We argued and I flipped. We are now spending some time apart for headspace because neither of us knows what we really want.

I've been home a matter of hours and I've sent of some application emails. Personally I think that is a pretty good effort. Roll on the weekend.

Writer's Block: Childhood Firsts
zencentricity
What was your first word?


I am told it was 'Hiya'. Apparently used to be in my pram and shout hiya at people who walked past making them jump :)

From Both Sides Now
zencentricity
Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall
I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all
Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all

Joni Mitchel

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